No.9930
Have known a guy for a year or two, but never pursued anything because distance. i originally met him in a group chat, then eventually told him how i felt. not soon after i ended up moving to the same state for personal reasons, not knowing he lived there.
i feel very strongly for him. he feels similarly. ive never felt this way before, but i don't have much romantic experience. dated two people in the past, had a situationship (?) that ended poorly i guess. he is everything i like in a guy. emotionally intelligent, kindhearted, giving (but not a pushover), patient, and kind.
he thinks its 'fate' because we fit so well. i am religious, so I guess it could be. but im a little nervous. im not concerned for myself but for him. if things go left i will be fine. sad, naturally, but okay. but hes put a lot of faith in us. he thinks im in his life for a reason.
ive decided that no matter what, ill do the best i can for him. i really do care for him despite my fear. im mostly afraid of hurting him, the last guy i trusted took advantage of me and i let him, until i couldn't take it anymore and decided to be worse. i don't want to do that to this one, because i can tell his heart is good.
i made him cry, by mistake, already. i realized then that i needed to do better. i told myself that so long as i live i would never hurt him again. it hurt so much hearing him cry, so I only want to make him happy from now on. im a little scared ill hurt him, but ill figure it out somehow.